Is it just me, or are the “best emails” simply awful?

I am trying to write an article about email and need to find three “kick ass” emails, as the editor describes them.

This is a tough task.

One email I looked at is an award-winning welcome email from Dell.

Here is the first paragraph:

“We're thrilled that you're interested in receiving the Dell Small Business E-mail Updates! With exceptional value, online shopping convenience and a huge product selection, Dell is the smart choice for all your business technology. We don't make technology for just anyone. We make it for only one. You.”

Well. Maybe it’s just me, but as far as I’m concerned this is just self-serving garbage.

They are writing a welcome message, and the best they can do is start by telling me how great they are?

As for those last couple of lines...

“We don't make technology for just anyone. We make it for only one. You.”

This is the truly horrible.

First, the message is not true. They DO make technology for just anyone. They don’t make it just for me. It’s a lie, and a ridiculous one at that.

It’s copywriting at its most self indulgent. Trying to be clever. And, I guess, hoping I will believe the message.

Good luck. The day I believe that Dell makes stuff only for me is the day I’ll believe that Ford really cares.

(Yes, I know that Dell will customize my order. But that's not what they are saying here. They say thay make technology just for me. If you have a strong value proposition, use it...but be specific and accurate.)

The thing is, when someone trusts you enough and is interested enough to sign up for your emails or e-newsletters...show them a little respect.

Welcome letters can be powerful things. But not if you use them to stand on a soap box and use overblown ad-speak to tell people how wonderful you are.

Job one for this email should have been to confirm that the reader was right to trust Dell with his or her email address.

Job two should have been to deliver useful and helpful information to the reader.

Job seven thousand, three hundred and fifty seven should have been to say what a great company Dell is.

Comments

[Vido]

Nick,

thanks for writing this article. You made me realize I need to improve the thank you email I send to the people who subscribe to my list.

Thanks!!